By Angela Stone
UHCLIDIAN STAFF

Angela Stone is a communication major at UH-Clear Lake. She recently lost her 4-year-old cousin, Abigayle Roland, to cancer. "I watched this innocent child fight for survival from a disease she never knew about. Abi's life was short, and I want to share how I have preserved her life in my memory," said Angela.

There is nothing like the sound of laughter from a child. Each laugh-unique in pitch, volume and length-is clearly recognized by loved ones.

A child's laughter evokes memories of childhood experiences and the simplicity in life, reminding adults of the innocence only children radiate. A truly heartfelt sadness occurs when such laughter is replaced with tears of pain, or even worse-silence.

Abigayle Roland was a special angel living on Earth. She was a miracle to her father Bobby, as she was his first and only child, entering his life in his early 40s.

Abi was Patti's second child, but her only daughter. In fact, Abi grew up an only child as her half-brother, Dawson, was 12 years older and attended school out of state.

At a young age, Abi was very outspoken with her needs, desires and feelings. Abi was queen when riding in her father's Suburban. She did not mind telling her father that she was hot and needed the air conditioner on high. When she was thirsty and wanted her favorite drink, Bobby would find the closest gas station to purchase a Mr. Pibb.

One night during the Christmas season of 2000, Abi awoke with extreme pain in her legs. She was rushed to the hospital and the family waited days for a diagnosis. Her tiny body was poked, prodded and tested thoroughly. The doctor's diagnosis was heartbreaking. At 4 years old, Abi was classified with stage IV neuroblastoma cancer.

Abi's parents decided not to explain the physical pain, process and possibilities of cancer to her. At such a young age, they felt Abi would not understand what cancer meant.

Abi underwent chemotherapy and several operations to remove the tumor in her stomach. While Abi endured great physical pain, her parents suffered crushing emotional distress as they considered the possibility of losing their only daughter. During this time, Abi lost weight and had little or no appetite.

Confined to a hospital bed, she coped with unfriendly needles and endless medicine. She lost her hair, smile, enjoyment of life and her innocence. Her body was so weak, she rarely had the strength to get out of bed.

In the following months, Abi's condition improved. She began to feel better and started to engage in the activities that most 5- to 6-year-olds enjoy. With her hair growing back, she acquired
a new energy to be positive.

Abi's progress was monitored closely. In February 2002, it was discovered that the cancer was in her legs. The cancer spread so quickly that, with her tiny frame, there was no way to remove the cancer without tearing away all of her tissue, muscle and nerves. The doctors said that more cancer treatments would be ineffective and very painful.

Abi's parents chose to give her as enjoyable a life as possible by allowing her to live without the pain and stress of continuous treatment.

Abi was excited to stay at home in her own bed with her toys and her family. She smiled and laughed more as she expressed, again, her genuine happiness for life.

Abi returned to Texas Children's Hospital in July with a fever. This was, by far, Abi's worse stay at the hospital. The cancer was spreading throughout her body causing physical pain once again.

Abi's dad bought her a small, red wagon to ride in at the hospital. This was Abi's greatest pastime. The halls at Texas Children's are in a circular pattern, and someone would pull Abi around the halls over and over and over again.

Sometimes, the motion would help Abi fall asleep and other times Abi would yell, "faster, go faster!" This was also a time when Abi met the nurses and made new friends in the hallway.

In August, the cancerous tumors in Abi's body were very evident. Her face was swollen, lumps developed on her head, and her teeth were painfully sensitive.

At this point, Patti spent most of her time at the hospital. She only worked a few days a week and spent almost every night in the room with Abi. Bobby could not spend the night at the hospital, but made it a priority to go every night to be with her.

Abi's father spent most of Sunday, Aug. 11, with her at the hospital. Abi was lively and talkative that day. She was walking on her own, laughing and having more fun than she had in a long time.

The following morning Abi woke up having trouble breathing. She was heavily medicated and a breathing mask was used to regulate her breathing.

All close friends and family rushed to be by Abi's side.

It was heartbreaking to see Abi in this condition. She was so silent, and her tiny body was weak as the cancer had taken over. It was hard for Abi's family to watch the life leaving her body.

From top to bottom: Abi Roland enjoying a fun day on a boat with her father, Bobby; Abi is petting her favorite dog, Elmo; Abi got a surprise visit from Channel 11 news anchor Lisa Foronda; Abi's wagon was entertainment and excitement on the ninth floor at Texas
Children's Hospital; Abi and Angela revved up the engine on a four wheeler last June.
photos by Angela Stone

Abi maintained this condition the entire day. She never woke up to talk, eat or ride in her wagon. As night approached, it was apparent that things were changing. Abi's labored breathing went down to 10 breaths a minute. Everyone in the room continued to count her breaths and wondered what this meant. The silence between each breath seemed to last forever.

Abi's breathing suddenly changed to shallow, more frequent breaths. Alarmed by this change, the nurse checked her pulse and heard only the dreaded sound of silence. Abi's pain and battle with cancer ended Aug. 13, 2002, at 12:40 a.m.

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