Peel, Pluck, Suck
by Jennifer Glass
UHCLIDIAN STAFF

Some people pluck, peel, pull, tug and then suck.

And then there are those who pull, pluck, peel and then pound.

Some people even rip, wipe, wring, wipe, twist, tug and then wipe again.

And finally there are those who squeeze, stomp, slam, sling, scream and then smash it on the floor.

With crawfish season in full boil, it is time to get down and dirty.

Getting to the meat of the matter takes time though. Peeling crawfish is like shucking peas - it is a process that requires patience and practice.

Rick Williams, a resident of La Porte and three-time champion of the crawfish eating competition in Clear Lake, has peeled a crawfish or two in his day.

In fact, he once peeled and ate 37 pounds of crawfish in 45 minutes.

According to Williams, there is an easy way to peel a crawfish.

"You simply pop the head, peel the first ring off of the tail, pinch the tail and the meat slides right out," Williams said. "If the meat falls apart when you take it out, throw it away. Chances are the crawfish was dead before it was cooked."

Crawfish must be alive when they hit the boiling water.

One way to determine if the crawfish is safe to eat is the shape of the tail.

"A straight tail on the crawfish means he was dead before he hit the water," Williams said.

"If the tail is not curved, don't eat it."

Once you have determined that the coast is clear, it is time to grab a bib and dig right in.

The following are a few table tips for those who eat crawfish:

• Don't eat the crawfish antenna. This part does not hold any nutritional value.
• Don't bang the crawfish with an eating utensil - this is a dead giveaway of an amateur crawfish eater.
• Don't use a shoe to crack open the shell - putting a shoe on the table is rude and it also brings bad luck.
• Don't sling body parts at those who don't eat crawfish - again, it is rude.

The following are table tips for those who don't eat crawfish, but happen to be with someone who does:

• Stand the menu up in the middle of the table to visually block the view of people slinging body parts of crawfish into a bucket.
• Tear off two small pieces of a paper towel and firmly secure in both ears to muffle the sound of sucking crawfish heads.
• Bring strong perfume and periodically spray the area down to camouflage the smell.
• Bring a toothbrush and toothpaste and make the person with crawfish breath brush their teeth before leaving. Nothing smells worse than spicy crawfish breath - not even morning breath.

Must Have:

• 1. Plenty of paper towels.
• 2. Lemon juice and water to wash hands and get rid of the crawfish smell.
• 3. An ice chest to keep your favorite beverage cold.

Odd Add Ins:

• 1. Cauliflower
• 2. Sausage
• 3. Mushrooms

Eating Crawfish It's as easy as...

• 1. Pour live crawfish in boiling water.
• 2. Stir and keep an eye on the ones that try to jump out.
• 3. Boil crawfish for about 10 minutes.
• 4. Inspect the tail. Only eat those with a curved tail.
• 5. Dig in.
• 6. Throw the crawfish body parts in a bucket.
• 7. Wash hands.

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